Tuesday, October 5, 2004

HUMOURESQUE

"Pie! I must have pie!"

~Hane, the unpredictable.

*

Meanwhile, Tuesday night,

somewhere in OHIO---

Referee: Ladies & Gentleman!

Are you ready to rrrummble?

ON your left in the red tie

representing the red states...

The Carolina Pit=bull prosecutor,

John E.! [applause, feinting]

AND on your right in the blue

tie representing the blue states...

The Hellion from Halliburton,

VP Dick C.! [cheers & boos]

Boys, i want a good clean bout

with no Kennedy references and

no remarks about staying the

course. Ready? Break!

John: [i'm gonna kick yer ass...]

Dick: [bring it on hair=boy...]

Ref: first question--Tax cuts?

Dick: Got mine, float all boats

John: Kept most, rest 2 ACLU

audience snarls

Ref: WMDs?

John: No Nukes, no nukes

audience chants

Dick: Saddam's in jail,

we will not fail!

audience doesn't chant

Ref: ooo=kaay--how 'bout that

Soviet Union?

Dick: moving to Democracy,

slowly & cautiously--Vladimir is

cool. Ask my boss.

John: Right. My boss would tell

your boss to stop playin' footsie

with a right=wing idealogue.

Dick: There ya go again~liberals

wanting it both ways. Socialist

bastard...

John: So--stop selling secrets

to those rifle-toting duckhunters

in VodkaLand, Mr. Birch...

extreme tussle on stage as

the cameras bump to Adverts.

[Debate descends into chaos,

and Geraldo Rivera throws a

punch at William F. Buckley.]

---later, the next day...

Republican operatif: Dick, you

took some hits but the Shrub is

unstoppable.

Democratic operatif: John, he

stung you like a bee but we are

way too pretty to lose.

Contenders, soaking in isopropyl:

"OW! Ow! Cut me! Cut me!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

DISCLAIMER: None of the

aforementioned Real or Created

characters were harmed during the

fictional Re=creation of this

Opinion Piece. Pity that~it might

have been funnier alltogether.

*

It's true! I am lost on the

Event=Horizon of theoretical

physics! {Good thing i own a

time=machine.} The dynamite

prizes have already been handed

out---so, i'll have to wait in line

for the next run. Unless, of

gourse, the Supreme Court tells

me not to Rock the Boat.

[Rock the Vote?] Never mind~

slac is neither doctor/lawyer

until especial Advisement.

YET--always a cosmologist.

Twas ever Thus~

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Now THAT would be worth watching!!!

Anonymous said...

How you see things depends on where you stand

Anonymous said...

...i suspected as much...

Anonymous said...

as always, you are my favorite political commentarium. (is that a word?) matters not. you get my meaning.

forgive me, i have been sucked into the autumnal time warp this week - and it is beautiful.

Anonymous said...

Now I feel truly up-to-date on the whole thing, missed most of it while losing a tennis match but enjoying it none-the-less.

~ Karyn

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