NICKEL

Line=Punches:

*[1]:

i woulda drained the swamp but

i was up to my adipose in

alligators!

*[2]:

The CZECH'S in the male.

*[3]:

Rectum? It almost killed him!

*[4]:

That's allright, but how are you

at catching mice?

*[5]:

Had to--dead y'know.

*[6]:

It'll be the best darn funeral a

catholic dog ever had!

*[7]:

Of course we're gonna Run...

we're Brothers.

*[8]:

I don't know about that, but i

just figured you wanted to Open

those bottles...

*[9]:

Good thing we didn't step in that.

*[10]:

Think that's funny? You're next.

*[11]:

Well, gosh, i never had ten dollars

before.

*[12]:

Maybe i shoulda said,"Dimaggio?"

*[13]:

I don't have to run faster than the

Bear; i just have to run faster than

you.

*[14]:

That's allright, sir; he just jumped

outta the plane with my back=pack.

*[15]:

OH! Great! You've just given him

enough money to take in a Movie!

*[16:]

A pig like that~you don't eat all

at once.

*

I am in a farcical mood; perhaps you

can provide the set=ups for the

Jokes abof^and laff with each

attempt...it is not an assignment NOR

a contest. Just a little levity with the

brevity And keep it Clean, if you can.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Title: The Daily Grind...

Mood: schtill farcical, facetious

Weathre: iffy, as they say round here

[drixxly in the morn, b'ful tonite]

Thot: "if the Glow isn't mine, whose

is it?"

News: they's a lotta funny things

going on in da gub'ment--specially

in the Senate. {there's only one

G in gub'ment, and it's George, not

G~d} And other stuff, werld=wide.

Music: later...

TEXT: What i mean by the daily

grind is not so much the werk i do

at the parish, but the shredding of

documents i now under=take on

a regular basis. SO much crud! It's

a good thing i'm in da bidness.

I shred by hand when i'm not looking

after my regular customers. And it

breaks down much like the papers

they bring--80% useless corresponds

and reports, 15% personal info that

should get a proper grinding AND

5% really cool fambly ephemera.

And piles 2 peruse before i sleep!

[i don't really mind tossing the

various magazines...Smithsonians

and National Geografics are werth

only pennies on the pound.]

Shred! Grind! Confetti!

*

Speaking of money (and who was?):

I don't much like the obverse of the

new nickel. Thomas Jefferson appears

to be hiding his powdered wig AND

the werd Liberty is in script. Blah.

But there is a buffalo on the reverse

and that is cool. Five cents...hmm.

Also~one of the big banks just sent

me a check for 11 dollars & twelve

cents. Naturally, i woulda preferred

a lottery payment of many thousand

dollars but thereyago. [Hey, slac,

buy a lotto ticket and you might

actually have that problem!] i kid,

of gourse, but i have to wondre

where this paltry sum originated

And how i'm supposed to divide

it Seventeen (17) ways. Really.

*

Do Not Send Money! I have nearly

no need of it! AND, certainly don't

send checks of such smallness that

they trouble my administratif

sensibilities. I'd rather have a pile

of very old nickels. Plus+, there

seems to be a run in the post office

on Ronald Reagan schtamps...i did

not cause it. It was a fambly ephemera

thing that coincided with a recent

loss of Papal authority. OR so i might

believe if i were paying attention.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005^

- - -readme&exceed me- - - -slac- - -

DIME

Monday, April 25, 2005...

*

Weathre: HAIL, Yeah!

Mood: going=easy

Noise: episode of Charmed

Thot: "Should i delete the blank page

for political reasons, Or because i

just had nearly nothing to Say?"

[see previous entry]

*

This was the unusual day all=to.

I walked to the bank, and i shoulda

worn a hat, but i had no idea it was

gonna be that cold. I picked up a

Roosevelt dime off the floor as i

carried out my transactions; i tried

to offer it to Brandy the teller but

she refused it. It probly woulda

screwed up her drawers big=time.

Somebody's out 10 cents and i am

only 2 nickels richer. Maybe i shoulda

left it for the cleaning person/lady.

*

Be careful of driving in light rain.

And watch out for people who suddenly

decide to take a divine left turn as you

get close to werk. About 100 feet

before that road, the white gal in the

white car made up her mind that she

wasn't going all the Way to the next

high=way. The green=ghost was not a

happy camper when i "threw the anchor

out." Peel, screech, slide, schteer to the

non-existent shoulder. I missed her

right arse with my left head=lamp by

about 22 inches. And~you know, my

Chrysler=yacht woulda won that bout!

Good thing grandma Grace's vehicle is

non=violent. Truth! I was not in a rush;

it was the wetness of the road and the

unexpectedness of the decision which

almost led to treachery. Phew!

*

And, then, i proceeded to steal my pay

at the parish yard. It happens thus on

decidedly dismal days. Too cold, too wet

for true yard=werk...and the collection

company should really pick up all the

recyclable paper which is piling up.

'Cause~i have more than enuf of my

own crud to process thru and thru.

[when will he schtop ending sentences

with a preposition?!] Parenthetical!

*

Later: at the bar...i was almost picked

up by a girl with a pick-up. She wanted

to give me a ride with her beer as i was

walking out with mine. Problem was,

my vehicle was idling just the same 100

feet from hers, parked, as that lady who

tried to distract me from my current

vocation. WOULD that i had simply

climbed into her Cab & gone on the

adventure of a life=time! OR~perhaps

just a twenty foot ride. You know what

i'm talkin' about. Scant serendipity that

we waved each othre along. Vroom!

[don't ride with strangers unless they

also offer candy~what comedian said

that?^] More=over~i didn't have a line

to hand that girl...we just happened to

be in the same place at the same Time.

*

Now~~imagine if each of these things

had gone differently. Accident upon

Accident leading inexorably to various

probable yet unrealised Conclusions.

Rain, Sun, Hail & a dropped ten=cent

piece not included. It proddles & boggles

me as i go along, and i am the requisite

participant. Comment freely^, it won't

change the temperature of my

remaining ham=soop.

TITLE: WHAT BLANK PAGE?

- - - - - - - - - slac- - - - - - - - -

Tuesday, April 26, 2005^^

i was interrupted by 2 IMPs & a fonecall.

**BUMP**

[THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]

SUNNY

Sunday, April 17, 2005...

How could so many people have

been doing yard=werk on the first

day of fishing? Astounding.

At the end of my Saturday shift,

ya couldna git anothre stick on.

*

Kay & Harry picked me up at the

yard and we travelled to a

national steak=house for dinner.

Cat & the kids joined us there.

I had the breaded shrimp with

minestrone for a start. And half

of Harry's key lime pie for afters.

Later--we watched Kay's video

travelog of the Tuscany vacance.

It was somewhat interesting.

*

Today, we got a late start and

walked to a local diner for one

o'clock lunch. I had the fettucine

alfredo con pollo. And iced tea.

Later, the three of us drove out

to see Cat at one of her model

homes...and Hane at her final

apartment. The stone is not laid

in yet. That is, the ground has

been somewhat saturated of

late---perhaps the rock will be

fitted onto her plot by Maisie's

birthday. Still it was a beautiful

day to visit the cemetery. The

earth was brown and crumbly.

Harry is an excellent chauffeur.

*

Alas~as always, the visit by the

Europeans was too short. Yet

amazingly, in just two days,

they got the grand tour...from

the local dives to the catholic

bone=yard, from Cat's model

house to the recently refurbished

Slack=Shack. Mirabile dictu!

*

Soak the beans & sew the jeans,

i have more mountains of werk

to accomplish on such gorgeous

days. But i am surrounded by aides

and confidantes, moreso now than

i could recently remember. To say

nothing of my good customers.

>Super=secret: If you wanna meet

a lot of lovely ladies, become a

fiduciary. Sure, most of them will be

married and all; but they are easy

on the eyes and usually have

beautiful penmanship! Zoit!

*

Save Arrested Development...

it's a great show & a humourous

pale reflection of my own fambly.

Nearly. Thereyago^

~slacwhofishesnotsogood~

[fotoes~Happy Nearly Anniversary

2 Matt and Anne...what a Party!]

 

 

CLAMP

Sunday, 10 April, 2005...

The puzzle perfect. It happens.

Moka, fried eggs with hot sauce,

a mess of grits, smothered in

salsa. NO~it's not at all like putting

ketchup on burnt toast! Yuk. And

the rest of the shiny day to ride

around in a boat=mobile ogling

the college girls. Business, really!

I had to drop off a few things at

the Good Will, didn't i?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My face is a little pink from werk;

it is possible to get an April burn

if you have the right job. Such as

when you have to overfill Five

roll=offs with yard waste from the

parish. Trucks & trailers, i wish i

had remembered to buy sunblock

for the new season. Amorro, i'll

be more careful. Moisturize!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The last clue of the puzzle was

about the Witches of that Scotch

Play...they were seeresses. Yipe!

Talk about being down to the last

two letters in Etoain-Shrdlu^^

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Monday, April 11, 2005...

i finally figgered out why the

Green=Ghost has been so balky

schtally of late. Seems that one of

the major hoses between the Air

filter and the Engine has come

loose at the clamp. Which also

explains the metallic noise under

the hood. The engineer woulda

found this in a Newark second,

but he's been busy holding a real

job up in the Northeast. Which is

a really good thing. Regardless of

that, i don't mind taking the Bus

to werk on sunny days...and i am

still young enough to fix the tiny

problems that come my way,

mechanically. Hose! Vroom!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kay & the Wild=Man are state

side for a brief period; we'll see

them both this week=end. Right

after i fill anothre set of echoic

roll-offs. And disposess myself of

a fistful of boxes of Crud, here &

there in my manly manner/manor.

Hearts of my faint heart, these are

my superific sisters who shall guide

my trepidatious fall=foots!

Until the project is complete...

And the puzzle is Perfect.

- - -slac- - -

*VERO*

to parafrase Robert Redford

in that most excellent movie,

Jeremiah Johnson:

"Pardon me, but it's been a

long time since i have had so

much of the Latin language

spoke at me." An Affidavit of

Domicile? What's that?

i situate in it and there=for

ego sum. Difficile dictu!

Medicine and Law, we are

encouched in tongues of

Caesar and Benedictus!

[whose bones are not merely

dry but far beyond dessication]

A lucky accident they borroed

so much from the greeks.

*

Currently, Rome is the largest

City in the werld. They have

drained off the most populous

other cities on chances of a

singular view of a catafalque.

Once in a life=time. And the

future King of England can

certainly wait one day to

marry his mistress. Lines!

*

Thursday, April 07, 2005^

Title: Mud and Tar...

Mood: respectful

Music: [shuffling feet]

Thot: "Burn All my personal

documents...Crud! i wish i

had thot of that instruxion."

*

It sure is the busy week for the

jet=setters...it'd be interesting

to see exactly who got Invites

2 all three Events. Two funerals

and a Wedding~bury the Pope,

dance with Camilla & Charles,

bury Prince Rainier. Schedule!

And to think i believed i was

running around like the averbial

decapitated chicken...

*

I have made recent reference to

the fact that, now, truly The

twentieth century is over. And

more than that, the entire Epoch.

So~it really is about Time the

whole human race got its

collectif sheet togethre. Veritas.

One only gets a fresh schtart

every thousand years or so.

WE could "party like it's 999"

or we could just begin treating

the Earth & its astro=nauts a

lot less abysmally than the

historic record shows. Maybe.

{this posit is werth considering}

*

And what is it like where you

are in the new glowing conflux?

[slightly rhetorical^] Arethere

any real empires or hegemons

left on this bright day? It pondres

me much...respondere ad latinus.

Friday, 08 April, 2005^

- - - slacus de minimus- - - -

BUNT

Hurrah & Hurrah...

the weathre nearly fits the

season. [ball=base season,

that is.] Plus+, more water

around these parts we do

not need. Sun=shine!

*

Yesterday, the werk was

fair to moderate. It's nice

to catch up with the old

codgers...with both good

news & bad. id est, Carl had

a great cruise thru the Panama

Canal [the trip, i believe, the

old man was apposed to take

with his darling daughters]

while Morrie, my nearest

neighbor to the yard, had to

send his wife to the same home

on the same day as i was

lighting a candle for Hane.

She, Shirley, has Alzheimer's.

{yet anothre horrible disease

that starts with the Letter A.}

My buddy Curt also showed up

to swap stories; he's over 80.

Yes, alltogethre not that bad.

*

Last night i got IMPed by a

twelve=year=old girl...or at

least that's how she described

herself. How embarrassing for

me to have such young fans!

G bless her, i hope she doesn't

make a habit of contacting

old men over the Inter=Web;

it could be troublesome.

'Nuf said^

*

TO=DAY was even more

interesting. I was forced by

democratic habit to walk past

the cathedral with all its black

bunting...apparently, someone

important died in Rome this

week. [see previous entry]

I don't zactly amember the

bunting for John Paul I,

altho i certainly was around

for that one. Also, we have a

bishop buried just outside the

Baptistry. How many people

can say that as they go to Vote

in a special election?

*

The machine was not reset.

This was the first time i had to

ask for help at the voting boof.

And only three choices! Good

thing I'm not in the collegium

of Cardinals. Vote Anyway!

*

The tax=girl is finished with me

for the time being; that's a

good thing. Altho it struck me

funny when the Receptionist

asked me for identification...

[wait 4 it>] The returns i was

collecting were for no less than

two dead people. Would that it

were not so, and me so slow on

the take=up! Such a century to

have so many ghosts in it.

{WE laff until we cry^}

*

There was a strange man at

the Laundromat. He sat at the

table with me, muttering to

him=self just at the point of

hearability. Fortunately, and

habitually, i had a book to read.

He shoulda had a fone=cell.

I will pray that he soon finds a

real person to talk with...and

that i shall not soon acquire his

endearing, yet disturbing Habit.

What else?

*

Ordinary/Extraordinary in

Simultaneity! Spring fevre^

And me a slight Wanderer and

observateur of such...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005^

Twas ever thus & just a Thing.

lata ~slac

PRAY

The Hour is not lost on me.

*

It is a poignant Hour.

*

Today, in this rain, i am

Orphaned thrice.

*

The national Radio is full

of Rememberings...and i

have lost an Advocate whom

i never met. Rising to a

perfect werld i have hardly

ever glimpsed. Godspeed

the travelling Pope. For

now he travels farther and

better than his earthly body

most recently allowed.

*

De mortuis nil nisi bonum.

*

And G protect & guard us

on our current travail...

+ + ** ++ amen + +

- - - - - - slac- - - - - - - -

ROME/ROAM...

Friday, April 01, 2005...

Light! There is Yet more Light!

And i am but a reflectif Cloud of

such confluences. Ask Any=body.

*

Today, a fool on fools' Errands.

Amorro, a collector of brambles.

Thereyago^

*

Apparently, Hane is very soon going

to see Karol Wojtyla again. And

my Patriarch & his brothers, my

Jewish second mother, Aunts Belle

and Barbara, Aunt Jo & Grandma

Jo...A multitude of Friends, Heroes

& Relatives~many gone too soon.

BUT, it's gonna be a Great Party up

there if Hane & Saint Francis are

in charge of refreshments! OH!

And Uncle Jake who has the gift of

gab from Ghobi to Glenargen.

Would that those whispres would

accrue toward my mortal milieu!

And per=fect our halt Epoch.

Scant Visitors & weak flesh, how

i do envy them in the mansions of

the Lord. They are completed.

*

More=over, there are no tears in

Heaven & there's "no crying in

baseball." It was a madonna

movie. But this is Basket=Ball

season, regardless^

*

Schtill~it was a bright & booful

day to wear my Nephew's leathre

jacket and to comport the Green

Ghost on her appointed Rounds.

{...and tomorrow may Rain, so,

i'll follow the Sun... the BEATLES}

*

Meanwhile [and for no good reason

that i can discern] there will be a

special Election on Tuesday.

{the current crop of politicians has

recently Advanced one schtep abof

their true vocation...see Parkinson's

Law^} But, Yes~by all means Vote!

As much & as many people came

out for the last general Election, i

heartily endorse them to come out

again for democracy in action. It's

the least we can do on this current

turn=of=the=dial. Taxerific! Vote!

*

~candles4ilPapa~slac