HUMOURESQUE

"Pie! I must have pie!"

~Hane, the unpredictable.

*

Meanwhile, Tuesday night,

somewhere in OHIO---

Referee: Ladies & Gentleman!

Are you ready to rrrummble?

ON your left in the red tie

representing the red states...

The Carolina Pit=bull prosecutor,

John E.! [applause, feinting]

AND on your right in the blue

tie representing the blue states...

The Hellion from Halliburton,

VP Dick C.! [cheers & boos]

Boys, i want a good clean bout

with no Kennedy references and

no remarks about staying the

course. Ready? Break!

John: [i'm gonna kick yer ass...]

Dick: [bring it on hair=boy...]

Ref: first question--Tax cuts?

Dick: Got mine, float all boats

John: Kept most, rest 2 ACLU

audience snarls

Ref: WMDs?

John: No Nukes, no nukes

audience chants

Dick: Saddam's in jail,

we will not fail!

audience doesn't chant

Ref: ooo=kaay--how 'bout that

Soviet Union?

Dick: moving to Democracy,

slowly & cautiously--Vladimir is

cool. Ask my boss.

John: Right. My boss would tell

your boss to stop playin' footsie

with a right=wing idealogue.

Dick: There ya go again~liberals

wanting it both ways. Socialist

bastard...

John: So--stop selling secrets

to those rifle-toting duckhunters

in VodkaLand, Mr. Birch...

extreme tussle on stage as

the cameras bump to Adverts.

[Debate descends into chaos,

and Geraldo Rivera throws a

punch at William F. Buckley.]

---later, the next day...

Republican operatif: Dick, you

took some hits but the Shrub is

unstoppable.

Democratic operatif: John, he

stung you like a bee but we are

way too pretty to lose.

Contenders, soaking in isopropyl:

"OW! Ow! Cut me! Cut me!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

DISCLAIMER: None of the

aforementioned Real or Created

characters were harmed during the

fictional Re=creation of this

Opinion Piece. Pity that~it might

have been funnier alltogether.

*

It's true! I am lost on the

Event=Horizon of theoretical

physics! {Good thing i own a

time=machine.} The dynamite

prizes have already been handed

out---so, i'll have to wait in line

for the next run. Unless, of

gourse, the Supreme Court tells

me not to Rock the Boat.

[Rock the Vote?] Never mind~

slac is neither doctor/lawyer

until especial Advisement.

YET--always a cosmologist.

Twas ever Thus~