HANG

Your Friday the Thirteenth Potery

Parody:

Slack=sheep, slack=sheep,

Have you any crud?

Yes Ma'am, Yes ma'am,

Three bags~thud.

*

I think that one is in the eminent

domain...hmm. Anyway~it was

the gorgeous day to walk to the

banks & the convenience store

AND the Thrift Shop. I didn't get

anything at the discount place;

that would be counter=productif.

But i did see a pair of Mac's old

seer=sucker trousers on the two

dollar table out front. Glance!

To think i coulda gotten a bus

ticket outta those blue & white

cast=offs! Never mind, they are

better off somewhere else.

*

And then i made a circuitous

route home, checking out local

properties...seeing both my pal

Fran [whose husband was a

great artist who went blind and

died too soon] and Brook [who

used to be a bar=maid at one of

the nearby taverns]. OH! And

former bingo-lady Dottie who was

driving a coupla her friends

around. I am confluent even when

i am not line=the=on! Veritas.

*

Decontruxionism? I am all up on

in that bad boy. By way of finding

the Cathedral front door open, i

schtepped lightly inside to check

out the ongoing werk project...

There is plastic all over the pews

and scaffolding from corner to apse.

The boom+box inside my baptismal

chambre was playing Rebel Yell by

billy idol. Seemed appropriate in a

very strange way...for i was a punk

when i first lived here, and they

buried a Bishop on the property

only Fourteen (14) years ago.

[Wonder what he makes of all the

asbestos flying around.] Rock!

*

Friday, 13 May, 2005...

Regardless of that & all=togethre,

We have to VOTE again Tuesday!

A primary for the next newest

Mayor and his City Council to pull

this municipality out of the doldrums.

{This will be important if we all just

don't want to become a suburb of

Atlantic City.} Don't get me started

on Inaction 72.

*

Read & Ring, it's just a Thing...

~thedispossessibleslac~

ICED=TEA

Wednesday, already?

*

But a nice one at that.

*

Too bad i spent most of it in

the Slack=shack hand shredding

a big ol' box of Mac detritus

from the sun=porch. Rip!

{There is something uniquely

strange about tearing up checks

from dead people to other dead

people.} My customers did not

suffer from my divided attention.

*

If i am here=after not as current

on the news, it is for good reason.

I cancelled the weekly paper.

[except, of course, Sunday which

has the puxxle & the classifieds.]

It will focus my feeble mind to

have more folios going out than

coming in. Besides, i get most of

my News from Jon Stewart

anyway. And the Watchtower.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005...

*

And speaking of dumpster-diving:

One middling gentleman stopped

by my boof today to ask if he

could,"take a branch away."

I am so much more used to

turning schtuff Away than having

tree=limbs asked for. But i saw

no natural reason to refuse his

request. After all, recycling is

a malleable process which does

not inherently preclude a small

amount of tangential innocent

scavenging. Which~i do not

endorse on a larger nor malevolent

scale! I am trusted as the watcher

to guarantee that Everything which

is discarded under my eyes makes

it finally into the Great Loop of

destruction/recreation. It's my job,

and after five (5) years, i still take

it seriously. [Hmm...it ponders me

what kind of schtick that guy just

had to have.] Never a dull moment.

*

And every=thing else that happened.

*

Amember~like the Pup=Man used to

say during the bingo days:

"Money takes up less space."

- - - - -disregard-the-counter- - - - - -

~theRecyclatifSlac~

MAMA~MIA

~diemus matriarchus~

*

The trick to loving one's own

Mother is to love her before

you are born and even more

so after she is gone.

*

The advantage of loving all

your other relatives is to

realise that they also Love

their mother(s) Exactly as

much. Becos it's true.

*

Sunday, May 08, 2005...

This was the near=perfect

weekend for the engineer

to visit His home with his

favourite sister & brother=

in=law. Plus+, we had to

hold a party for Maisy on

the double event of her

day of borning and of

bearing! No, really it often

happens that way. Such a

good girl to have arrived so

boo'ful near the Feast of the

Ascension. [i am not the one

to keep track of such things,

yet it doesn't cause much

harm to my catholic origin.]

Anyway~the main purpose

of this Day was to travel to

the bone=yard with flowers

and to make sure that Lady

Hane is comfortable in her

new surroundings. Which i

think she is. The Schtone is

set and the new grass is

shooting up. Her lefthand

neighbor, Julie is also now

in possession of a good rock,

which was more than a year

in coming. And that is a good

enuf proof of Love for me.

As well as Maisy admonishing

Hane to,"Be good." [What

trouble could Mom cause with

such good companions?]

*

And then, after all those

Blessings, we went back to

werk on a whole bunch of

othre crud. There sure is

enuf of that^.

Life! Math! Ponderifics!

And perfect action.

~thesonwhowouldbeSlac~

Happy Moms' Day.

NOTABLE

Mowing the Mint...

*

...and running to the Recycle

with a box of periodicals

older than myself.

*

Genealogy? Geneticism?

i am also sometimes running

over fotografs from before

Moses at the burning bush.

No, really. He's in some of

them! Historiography...

*

Mac was the executor of his

Mother's estate and he did

a pretty good job. I know

becos Pop's entire life is

completely remaindered in

his library/office. [In this

regard, Hane's collectivity

seems quite austere.] These

are the conditions which

prevail. ÆGEAN stables.

*

{It can be dangerous to save

some things; just ask that

war=lord in Afghanistan.}

*

Yesterday, which woulda

been Monday, i was bit or

Schtung on the neck by a

yellow=jacket. Of course i

killed it. [i am therefor NOT

the perfect Buddhist.] It

hurt for a few minutes...

thank goodness i have a

natural immunity to bug

bites. Which probly accrued

to me when Boogerag had

the year of ten million fleas.

Ornery tabbies are good for

some things. And there is

nary a poison which can

defatigue the parish yard

master. Ask anybody.

*

Tuesday, May 3rd, And5^

(tone=change:)

Title: SIXTEEN WHEELS

Mood: empathetic

Musiq: [background]

Weathre: sunny but cool

*

So~i come to find out on

my morning constitutional

that we lost anothre great

person...Wilbur the Notary.

I commisserated with his

widow a block from home.

They helped me with a

great many transactions in

my life, most notably the

registrations of no less than

four cars. My older brother's

Nova, my neighbor's Granada,

my younger brother's Mazda

And, of course, the Green

Ghost which has passed thru

three generations. They tried

to help me with Pop's PofA

but i screwed that up royal.

[it was my first time & like

othre projects i have under=

taken in same circumstance,

Totally unnecessary.]

Wilbur had the Alzheimer's

and so, had a troubling end,

even at home. Yet, in his

prime, he was a courageous

person~a city policeman

before he did the Notary

thing so well with his wife.

He is well joined from all

the Angels i now pray to!

Then, i blessed his widow

and walked on. Steps.

*

Werk was easy enuf...yet

not the perfect spring day

for Yardening on a grand

scale. It'll pick up right

after the next frost. And

tomorro i must clip anothre

lawn belonging to anothre

Widow; yipes! i am acircled

by signal women! Perhaps

i should open a group home

to advance their cause and

care for them better than

the current establishments.

Hmm~nope. I have more

werk to do keeping my own

sisters off the crutch & shunky.

Read that lightly for i am

honestly facetious^

- - -fontmebutdon'twontme- - -

^slac^

sCENTs

May 01, 2005...[or 1938...]

* *

I am reminded of the Frank Capra film

that swept the Oscars that year. It was

about a runaway bride. I am not going to

dwell on the current true rendition of

that classic, save to say: It struck me odd

how that girl got so far from home

without her personal effects. I hope they

go easy on her becos for nearly three

days she was wearing *gasp* her sweats.

Some stories look funny prima facie.

*

Same with that tale of the fingre food a

short while ago. We still do not know

whose fingre it was. What seemed odd

about that one is that no=one in the fast

food bidness could reconcile the digit's

origin either. That lady should be forced

to provide the information so lacking

AND apologise to the aggrieved party,

namely that person who can currently

count no higher than Nine (9). Truth.

*

I am slightly disappointed with Katie

Holmes for choosing Tom Cruise over

me. But it's really not her fault...she

hasn't even met me. Plus+, her alter

ego on Dawson's Creek also chose the

wrong boy. Ask anybody who thot it

weird that a series set in New England

would have perfect Carolina weathre.

[N.B.: i josh that i am pining for Tom's

ex=girlfriends & ex=wives...slac is a

talker and a walker, Not a stalker.]

Never mind, Kate's too cute for me to

remain disenchanted for long.

*

All that aside^...i am remiss of the days!

I have totally blown off EARTH DAY &

Secretaries' Day [i have been such a

personal representatif in the past] AND

even The Passover! How could i be

less than a mensch about such things?!

The mind of my mind must be fully

pre-occupied of othre things! Dremes &

dreadnaughts, i suppose. Any=way, the

Second Coming of the second Maisy will

set things right. She means to visit me

on her birfday And on Mother's Day.

{i sincerely Hope that Hane's rock is

laid flat by Sun=Day} Less=the=Never,

here's my take on the diemus matriarchus:

All the children should call their mothers

on their birthday and say,"Happy Mother's

Day." AND on so-called Mother's Day,

each naturally conceived child ought get

a shout from their Mom saying,"Hey!

Boopchik! For this i spread my legs two

times and Schtill you pisht in my eye?!"

Or something like that^

[secret: Hane woulda loved that joke.]

*

~~non=communistical slac~~

NICKEL

Line=Punches:

*[1]:

i woulda drained the swamp but

i was up to my adipose in

alligators!

*[2]:

The CZECH'S in the male.

*[3]:

Rectum? It almost killed him!

*[4]:

That's allright, but how are you

at catching mice?

*[5]:

Had to--dead y'know.

*[6]:

It'll be the best darn funeral a

catholic dog ever had!

*[7]:

Of course we're gonna Run...

we're Brothers.

*[8]:

I don't know about that, but i

just figured you wanted to Open

those bottles...

*[9]:

Good thing we didn't step in that.

*[10]:

Think that's funny? You're next.

*[11]:

Well, gosh, i never had ten dollars

before.

*[12]:

Maybe i shoulda said,"Dimaggio?"

*[13]:

I don't have to run faster than the

Bear; i just have to run faster than

you.

*[14]:

That's allright, sir; he just jumped

outta the plane with my back=pack.

*[15]:

OH! Great! You've just given him

enough money to take in a Movie!

*[16:]

A pig like that~you don't eat all

at once.

*

I am in a farcical mood; perhaps you

can provide the set=ups for the

Jokes abof^and laff with each

attempt...it is not an assignment NOR

a contest. Just a little levity with the

brevity And keep it Clean, if you can.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Title: The Daily Grind...

Mood: schtill farcical, facetious

Weathre: iffy, as they say round here

[drixxly in the morn, b'ful tonite]

Thot: "if the Glow isn't mine, whose

is it?"

News: they's a lotta funny things

going on in da gub'ment--specially

in the Senate. {there's only one

G in gub'ment, and it's George, not

G~d} And other stuff, werld=wide.

Music: later...

TEXT: What i mean by the daily

grind is not so much the werk i do

at the parish, but the shredding of

documents i now under=take on

a regular basis. SO much crud! It's

a good thing i'm in da bidness.

I shred by hand when i'm not looking

after my regular customers. And it

breaks down much like the papers

they bring--80% useless corresponds

and reports, 15% personal info that

should get a proper grinding AND

5% really cool fambly ephemera.

And piles 2 peruse before i sleep!

[i don't really mind tossing the

various magazines...Smithsonians

and National Geografics are werth

only pennies on the pound.]

Shred! Grind! Confetti!

*

Speaking of money (and who was?):

I don't much like the obverse of the

new nickel. Thomas Jefferson appears

to be hiding his powdered wig AND

the werd Liberty is in script. Blah.

But there is a buffalo on the reverse

and that is cool. Five cents...hmm.

Also~one of the big banks just sent

me a check for 11 dollars & twelve

cents. Naturally, i woulda preferred

a lottery payment of many thousand

dollars but thereyago. [Hey, slac,

buy a lotto ticket and you might

actually have that problem!] i kid,

of gourse, but i have to wondre

where this paltry sum originated

And how i'm supposed to divide

it Seventeen (17) ways. Really.

*

Do Not Send Money! I have nearly

no need of it! AND, certainly don't

send checks of such smallness that

they trouble my administratif

sensibilities. I'd rather have a pile

of very old nickels. Plus+, there

seems to be a run in the post office

on Ronald Reagan schtamps...i did

not cause it. It was a fambly ephemera

thing that coincided with a recent

loss of Papal authority. OR so i might

believe if i were paying attention.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005^

- - -readme&exceed me- - - -slac- - -

DIME

Monday, April 25, 2005...

*

Weathre: HAIL, Yeah!

Mood: going=easy

Noise: episode of Charmed

Thot: "Should i delete the blank page

for political reasons, Or because i

just had nearly nothing to Say?"

[see previous entry]

*

This was the unusual day all=to.

I walked to the bank, and i shoulda

worn a hat, but i had no idea it was

gonna be that cold. I picked up a

Roosevelt dime off the floor as i

carried out my transactions; i tried

to offer it to Brandy the teller but

she refused it. It probly woulda

screwed up her drawers big=time.

Somebody's out 10 cents and i am

only 2 nickels richer. Maybe i shoulda

left it for the cleaning person/lady.

*

Be careful of driving in light rain.

And watch out for people who suddenly

decide to take a divine left turn as you

get close to werk. About 100 feet

before that road, the white gal in the

white car made up her mind that she

wasn't going all the Way to the next

high=way. The green=ghost was not a

happy camper when i "threw the anchor

out." Peel, screech, slide, schteer to the

non-existent shoulder. I missed her

right arse with my left head=lamp by

about 22 inches. And~you know, my

Chrysler=yacht woulda won that bout!

Good thing grandma Grace's vehicle is

non=violent. Truth! I was not in a rush;

it was the wetness of the road and the

unexpectedness of the decision which

almost led to treachery. Phew!

*

And, then, i proceeded to steal my pay

at the parish yard. It happens thus on

decidedly dismal days. Too cold, too wet

for true yard=werk...and the collection

company should really pick up all the

recyclable paper which is piling up.

'Cause~i have more than enuf of my

own crud to process thru and thru.

[when will he schtop ending sentences

with a preposition?!] Parenthetical!

*

Later: at the bar...i was almost picked

up by a girl with a pick-up. She wanted

to give me a ride with her beer as i was

walking out with mine. Problem was,

my vehicle was idling just the same 100

feet from hers, parked, as that lady who

tried to distract me from my current

vocation. WOULD that i had simply

climbed into her Cab & gone on the

adventure of a life=time! OR~perhaps

just a twenty foot ride. You know what

i'm talkin' about. Scant serendipity that

we waved each othre along. Vroom!

[don't ride with strangers unless they

also offer candy~what comedian said

that?^] More=over~i didn't have a line

to hand that girl...we just happened to

be in the same place at the same Time.

*

Now~~imagine if each of these things

had gone differently. Accident upon

Accident leading inexorably to various

probable yet unrealised Conclusions.

Rain, Sun, Hail & a dropped ten=cent

piece not included. It proddles & boggles

me as i go along, and i am the requisite

participant. Comment freely^, it won't

change the temperature of my

remaining ham=soop.

TITLE: WHAT BLANK PAGE?

- - - - - - - - - slac- - - - - - - - -

Tuesday, April 26, 2005^^

i was interrupted by 2 IMPs & a fonecall.